GET SMART

(before you get happy)

Nov 29, 2024

I knew it all before I was born
My mother was stupid, that's why she had me
I'm so smart I knew my A-E
before the kids down the street could eat their peas
Celebrate, Celebrate
My name is Me
I had enough to eat, and now I'm free
I'm the best, got enough EDU-cation
Cele-bration

My teachers always said
Ihsan, don't you break the rules
Ihsan, don't you do the chore
Of being a headache
To your school
Don't act the fool
Stand in line
Eyes in front
Ignore the giggling out back, it's just a little laugh track

I can still see my name in lights
I was the best
Graduated atop all the rest
I knew I had the way
To lead the day
I could tell everyone how smart I was
So smart, I was the dumbest of all
Top of the line, I never left the starting line
Finished with my time, I never crawled even out of bed
Everybody's rushing around
Gathering fifty degrees and thirty wives
And that's only Adam and Abdi and Musti
(Don't get me started on the Afghans from the Gangastan!!)

I knew there was another way
A way to prove my mind
See, I knew I was the best
I just needed a way
To put it to the test

Fifty-young men in a line
Here comes Mr. Man with the time (and a big whip, watch out!!)
Better look sharp if you want to avoid his crack
(Speaking of which, put your crack away before he sees..)
Here comes the spitting crack (Hardy Boys...)
Better look out for Mr. Arrow ($5 a pop in 1973?? Are you kidding me??)

I've had enough, took the truck
To the dumping ground
There I found
A little place with a gravestone marked for Me
Well, actually marked for Thee
It has a little space with a big telephone
It's big and red, and it's on the phone