I HATE YOU, BUT YOU'RE RIGHT!

Other reasons to fall in love with your Self...

I wanted to escape down the hatch of misery
I wanted to forget I was ever anything but pain and agony
I wanted to throw away every shiny surface,
everything through which I might see my own reflection
(Is that what it means to be a vampire?)

I grew tired of growing tired
I became sick of being sick
Is it enough yet, the old habit to kick?
Do I need to live another hundred million years
Of death, disgust, and the shame?
Do I need another round of fame-the-cycle-and-then-pain?
Isn't it enough when it's enough?
Haven't you had that rush, like, enough?
Haven't you found the end of your rope?
Haven't you found, the sink's all out of soap?

I needed to find a way to stop thinking about not thinking
I needed to find an escape from looking for escape
I needed to continue being miserable so I wouldn't stop being that
I needed to find a way
To bury myself inside a hat (now I feel sorry for that fellow in the Hogwarts Grand Hall..)

I've learned how to live twenty-thousands lies (all at the same time)
I learned how to smile while looking like a dial
I've learned how to hide
All my deepest pain inside
And I've learned how to do it
Without even knowing it

See, I've learned how to be (someone else)
I've learned how to show (a great big happy face)
I've learned how to race (in the big old rat-race)
And I've learned that I DO love the chase (especially when it's my own tail)

Some old lies are hard to leave behind (about, all of them, give or take..)
Some old lives are hard to put aside
When you've lived once or two thousand different lives
The meaning of goodbye, well, it dies

Sixty-five thousand lives are lived and gone each second (I made this up.. but of course I did)
I used to think, I needed to live each one of them
Every moment of ecstacy, every moment of agony
Who could I be, how could I be free, be Me, if I didn't understand, 3 plus 3 plus 3 plus 3?
27 is the name of the name of the Game
I'm not sure why, give me a moment to remember..
Ah yes, 3 raised 3 raised 3
In case you're looking for Me
Stop running and stop hiding and stop ago-nising
Leave your pretences by the fence
Take your opinions and leave them behind
Pick up your dusty old self
Put your mind back on the dusty old shelf
Maybe, just maybe
In the words of the song
Give up (what you think is) yourself
To really find your Self
Give me one chance; if you really want to save a life
(They say one life is the whole of Mankind, I wonder why?)

Give up thinking you're free, if you really want to be ...
Give up thinking at all, if you'd like to really See...
A blind man can see farther that one wearing his own Fears as glasses...
When you're in shock, take stock, start to breathe, take a moment, you have enough...
You're made of tough-enough stuff...

No matter what the grinders and the rat-racers and the nay-sayers will say (and they say plenty...)
When you don't have time for You
You aint got time for Anything, or Anyone too...
When you take time for You (or for Me, for example, this story to read...)
You give the time back to You, and it multiplies..
You see, when you take care of yourself
You're taking care of your Self...
And well,
You'll take care of you... (just as you do)

I know, I'm sorry, these lines they make no sense
I just go round and round and round, like dancing round the fence
I could be quite the strip-pole dancer
Twirling round and never making a point
Do I even make a point? Do I even have a sharp end to make?
I don't think so, but what's the point?
Do you read this looking for hope, for pleasure, for a point?
Do you read this without hope, without pleasure, without freedom?
Can you ever lose what is truly yours?
Can you ever be what you are truly not?
Can you ever run far enough from Home that you forget how to get back?

I'm not sure, but that sounds like the most terrible agony of all...

Leave your old dogs to lie by the door.. (they'll be fine, trust me..)
Leave your old sorrows behind on the floor..

Take those dusty old rags off,
Have a chair, have a seat
Sink right into the deep (of the deep-blue-sea..)
And take a moment to rest
To re-lieve, re-lease (for eternity) your right to be Free (because you have it..)
You're not really doing anything, you know
Just playing around on some big old game-show
I know it's hard and I know it's a card
I know it's a pain and I know it's a shame
But if you're still reading this far
Does there exist a little word, a line,
something ringing a bell deep inside?

Find yourself, and you'll never go wrong
Listen to your heart, learn how to find its song
Sink into the dust, be "re borne" like Jason Bourne
Not to be born-again but to be again-a-friend
To yourself
To me
And you'll start to be free

Non-friends, do they exist?
I ask myself, about 30 times a day
Do I enjoy rolling in the hay? (of delusion, of pointlessness, of chasing my own cat's tail)
I guess I do, I guess I see a point
or I guess I'm just too tired to roll a joint
See, I've looked for something about a thousand million times or more
Never found it, but who's keeping score?

Is insanity really insanity if it's truly insane? (Yes, I think..)
But if it finally leads to non-insanity (Sanity, I think that's called)
Is it really so insane, in the end?